What do you think is the main determinant of one’s happiness? Some people may think the answer is one of the materialistic things like money, fame or power. However, the truth is, our key to happiness is the effect people have on our lives. Do the people who surround us make us happy, sad, angry, excited or depressed? All of these constitute a person’s life.
Now you may hear a lot of people say that they cannot care less about what others think or say about them. But that is not true. It is inherent in the human nature to care about others around him. We are all social animals and our relationships are the foundation of our happiness. This is the reason why being in love is the most cherished experience and loneliness, the worst. Ask those who have had to endure separation from a loved one. For them, nothing matters most than to have that beloved person back.
Unfortunately, you cannot always choose your company. While you can pick friends and peers to hang out with, you simply cannot what if you are stuck with negative co-workers, relatives and worst, family members.
Negative people can really bring one’s mood down. Their sole purpose in life is to extract all happiness from your life, making you hollow and hopeless. Their pessimism and discouragement can put a damper on even the most exciting experiences or opportunities you may be setting out to explore.
So how does one cope with such people? One obvious solution is to walk away from them or ignore their opinions. While that may work in some instances, in others, it may not. For example, if that person is a sibling, parent or a co-worker, you have to endure them. The most practical approach in handling such people is to try to understand the reason behind their pessimism. In majority of the cases, the reason behind one’s negativity is ‘fear’ – fear of being disrespected, being hated or an impending phobia of ‘bad things’ happening as a result of an action.
Such fears are manifested in a variety of ways: being overly sensitive; being judgmental; feeling helpless when facing challenges; being demanding; being pessimistic and having this inherent need to control others’ lives.
How does one help them, and ultimately help oneself? One way, which might not always be productive, is to give them the love, respect and control that they so crave. This can turn into a slippery slope and you might find yourself overly burdened with giving so much love and respect, especially when the returns are not very promising.
An alternative solution is to find the root of their negativity and making them realize that their behavior is a by-product of their attitude and not necessarily, the state of the world. This, again, may not always work, because most negative people do not accept critical feedback and may turn against you.
What, then, does one do? Grit your teeth and move on. Be unfazed by the negative vibes and do not let yourself get affected even one bit. Go with your plans as you planned and desired. Take responsibility for your happiness and act maturely around negative people. You can probably do better without their contribution anyway. Another way is to seek help from a counselor or an arbiter. A third party’s neutral view may help that person realize that their negativity is not helping anyone.
Always remember that the way you deal with negative people will reflect on how you intrinsically are as a person. If you give up on negative people and lash out at them, you will display a level of negativity and insensitiveness too. If you do not feel restricted or deflated around such people, then you are the master of your happiness. Embark on this endeavor of dealing with such people with compassion, positivity, immunity to their opinions and maturity. Good luck!
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